Age 11, I had begun to take ballet and tap lessons. It was an activity that I enjoyed very much, once a week I was with girls like me and e would dance and have a great time. Although as time went on I began to realize the differences between me and the other girls. At this point in my life, I began to gain weight a lot faster than my fellow 11-year-old peers. I hadn't hit puberty yet, but I wasn't eating very healthy and the only activity I had was from lessons once a week. My family was low income so healthy food was rare and we also lived in a dangerous neighborhood so playing outside was a no go. I began having a lot of image issues, but since my family didn't discuss things like that I had no idea how or why I was feeling the disconnect I was at that time.
Fast forward only two years and I had started puberty and gained more weight but was vertically challenged. While other attributes of my body were developing my height was taking its time. I was 4' 10" and 175lbs this made my self-image issues even more prevalent. I never developed an eating disorder from these issues thankfully, but it has impacted my overall self-confidence and self-acceptance. With-in a year of hitting puberty, I had developed a D cup chest and gained close to 30+lbs. This triggered a major depression that I wouldn't relate to body dysphoria until my early adulthood. My father has always been a supporter regardless, he would constantly reassure me and build me up in regard to my image. On the other hand, my mother had her own insecurities and would project those onto my sister and me. When I started dressing in male clothing she would make comments such as "How can you expect to find a boyfriend if you look like him?" or "If you don't lose the weight now, you never will". At the time I didn't see the impact that these comments were having on me, but looking at how I process my image and how I expect to be viewed by others, the impact is there.
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